


Warlocks Can Get Drunk?

by DarkenedHeart



Series: Cat to Lover [5]
Category: Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: ALTERNATE UNIVERSE!!!, AU, Alcohol, Archade Games, Archer!Alec, BEWARE: Auto-Correct, Cat!Magnus, Cute Magnus, Drinking, Going on a Date!, M/M, Magnus Gets Drunk, Nearly Attacked by Dogs, Transforming Magnus!, Walking together, mundane!Alec, warlock!Magnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-22 11:45:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8284628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkenedHeart/pseuds/DarkenedHeart
Summary: "...when Magnus gets drunk he switches unconsciously/uncontrollably between forms? And this happens in public?" [Hailhydration]Not sure if Warlocks can get drunk but in this ALTERNATE UNIVERSE, they can.*If you hate the series, don't read this story. Just keep scrolling...*





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hailhydration](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hailhydration/gifts).



> I hope this was at least part of what you were thinking...

Simon doesn't remember anything about the night before when Alec calls him. The archer pretends to make sure that everything at work was okay while he takes the day off. The techie assure him everything was fine and babbled several 'Thank you!'s before hanging up.

Alec then texts Lydia to make sure everything was alright on her end and she assured him, with the least amount of words possible, that she was fine.

With his friendship duties complete, Alec finally got to finish his movie. But after that was finished, he got a little bored....

 

"Come ON, Magnus!" Alec groans as his boyfriend refuses to budge off the couch. "It's gorgeous outside! I'm not staying in all day. There's more to life than sitting around!"

"I know," Magnus counters with an eye roll. "I just don't think that TODAY is a good day to go anywhere. I think we need to stay here. Together. Where no one can find us."

"You always want to do that," the archer huffs, but he's smirking. "We've been out together once before and nothing bad happened. I don't see why we have to hide away in here like we're doing something wrong. Does it hurt you a lot to hide your cat eyes or something?"

"Only when I do it for a very long time," the warlock frowns as he finally gets up from the couch. "I have a bad feeling about today, Alexander. I can't explain it. It isn't something I can put into words, it's just...." he shrugs helplessly. "I don't know what it is. I just really, really hate it."

"Maybe you're getting antsy?" Alec suggests, only slightly worried. "You might be some big shot warlock, but you're still part human. And humans need Vitamin D, which you can only get from the sun. Besides," he smiles wider as he notices his lover caving. "Think of all the people we'll make jealous when we walk together."

"You certainly know how to manipulate a guy," Magnus says with a strained voice. "Fine! Mostly because I know you'll go without me anyway. I can't risk you being on your own out there. Not feeling the way I do."

"Great!" Alec takes the other man's hand and drags him to the door. "To the outside world!"

 

The sun shines in the clear blue of the sky as the couple walk the streets. Magnus has his arm looped with Alec's, sending cool glares at anyone who gives them an odd look. His boyfriend takes it all in stride and only speeds up their walk when it feels like the warlock is going to jump a group of teenagers mocking them from across the street.

 

Once they reach a nearby park, with a surprisingly sparse amount of people, Alec starts a conversation.

"Is there anything you miss about being a normal warlock?" 

"I know we've only been together for a few measly months," Magnus smiles. "But I thought we already established that I was far from 'normal'?"

"Okay, fine," Alec relents. "Is there anything you miss about being a superbly wonderful warlock?"

"Flatterer," his boyfriend winks. "I do, on occasion, miss seeing the marvels that the Mundanes have built and try to build for themselves."

"What stops you from going there?" the archer asks as he turns them down a less walked path. "You can travel through portals or something, right? You could be there and back before I get home from work."

"Because, Alexander," the warlock turns to him with soft eyes. "Nothing that I occasionally miss can remotely rival what I get to see every day." He places the palm of his hand on the archer's chest, over the heart. "You."

Alec ducks his head as a jogger passes them, their headphones blaring so loud it'll ruin their hearing. His cheeks feel like they're on fire and it takes several moments of 'enjoying nature' to pull himself together. Magnus finally removes his hand when Alec lifts his head again.

Even though his face calms down, the archer remains silent until after they leave the park.

\- -

After the park, Alec takes his boyfriend to 'see the sights' of the city. He points out places of his youth, makes comments on events that happened at various places, gets them hot dogs from a vendors' cart and they end up in an arcade.

"Are you any good at those things?" Magnus asks as they pass the open doors of the building. There are very few lights in the building itself, the screens and blinking colorful bulbs of the games enough for the customers to see by. "I once held a record for the monkey one when I was going through an especially strange spell of boredom."

"You played video games?" Alec laughs at the thought that brings. "You're joking. You were probably fighting real giant monkeys of another planet, right? There's no way you would touch something so Mundane."

"Is this you trying to stop us from going in, or," his boyfriend smiles. "Is this you trying to hide your inner geeky side?"

"Those games are not accurate," the archer points out, a little defensively. "You have to counter their timing because if you treat them like real life, you lose."

"Spoken like a closet fanatic," Magnus chuckles, pulling the taller man into the building. "Come on, Alexander. Show me how those magnificent arms of yours handle small buttons and blinking lights."

 

It turns out, both men are pretty terrible at video games. Neither of them know how the machines work and spend the first five coins figuring out how to win, let alone get the best score. They mumble to each other and curse out the poor animation as they go from lit-up box to box. Alec does find a game he decimates, something about shooting birds and laughing dogs that mock his boyfriend. It's only after Magnus starts using his magic to cheat in order to impress his date that the archer decides to call it quits and drags the warlock out of the building.

 

Night air hits them as they laugh the stuffy environment from the building out. 

"How long were we in there?" Alec shakes his head as they start walking away. Magnus shrugs his shoulders. "I don't care what anyone says, those games are cheats! I was turning the wheel to that little red car to the right and I swear the thing went the opposite direction on purpose."

"At least we didn't spend an actual fortune on those blasted machines," the warlock shakes his head in amusement. "Quite the booming business when you get some suckers drawn in."

"I thought you had something to do with a few of those 'convenient' restarts," Alec laughs again. "You're such a cheater!"

"By your own admission, those games cheated first," Magnus points out loftily. "We gave the man enough business just by gracing his dungeon of a place with our presence. Don't think that I was unaware of how many people were staring at you, Alexander. Because I noticed. Every. Single. Last. Stare."

The warlock tightens his hold on the archer's arm slightly as they pass another couple.

Alec is grateful for the cool air as his cheeks heat up again. He leans over to whisper, "Your territorial cat side is showing again."

"Honey," Magnus purrs. "Cat or not, I'd be territorial of you."

The archer shakes his head as he barks out a loud laugh into the air. He waves away the startled glances he gets and shakes his head. "I need a drink."

"Lovely idea!" his boyfriend pipes up happily. "I can make us some lovely drinks back at your place."

"Or we could go there," Alec motions to a bar with his head. It's a small place on the corner of the approaching street. The lights are on and looking through the large, glass windows there aren't too many drinkers inside. 

Magnus frowns, "Why there? Is it special?"

"I don't know," the archer shrugs. "I haven't gone yet. But," he smiles as he looks over to his boyfriend. "It could be the place we end our first official date."

"Is that what this is?" his lover perks up immediately. "My, my, Alexander. Taking the initiative of asking a man out first? Nicely done."

"Yes, because I showed you all the best places," Alec states sarcastically as they walk towards the bar. "Nothing says 'true love' like a walk in the park and hot dogs for dinner."

"Nothing says true love like someone who takes the time to notice you," Magnus counters as he reaches out to open the door first. He smiles at the archer's wide eyes. "Pretty people first."

 

The couple takes the two stools at the end of the bar, furthest away from the half a dozen other patrons. The barkeep, an older, heavyset man with more hair on his chin than the top of his head, walks over to them with a blank look. "What you two want?"

 

"We'll start with two of your establishment's finest beers," Magnus answers for Alec. "Unless you don't have a house brew?"

The man grunts instead of answers and quickly serves them two foaming glass mugs.

"Is beer your alcohol of choice?" Alec asks as he tastes his drink. He isn't a fan. 

"No, and I'm glad it isn't yours either," Magnus smiles as he takes a few sips before matching unhappy expressions with his date. "That's a sad excuse of a drink."

"Don't insult it too loudly," the archer murmurs when the comment gets them an annoyed glare from the barkeep. He smiles at the older man, "Can we have two tequilas instead?"

"Actually," Magnus counters as their server does as requested. "Can you serve us each one of everything you have in your quaint establishment?"

That gains them a slightly impressed look from the barman. "You two think you can keep your liquor?"

"Not sure," the warlock smiles, the corners of his lips looking like they'll touch his eyes. "But it will be fun to find out."

The barman barks an amused laugh as he finished the tequilas and puts them down with a bit of a flourish. "I'd put money that the two of you are flat-faced drunk before you finish the first dozen."

"I love a challenge," Magnus takes the offered glass and downs the drink like it were nothing. "What's next?"

"Whisky," the older man states, stepping away to get the drink.

"Magnus," Alec says worriedly as leans closer to his boyfriend. "What are you doing? There's no way we won't get drunk if we drink one of everything in this bar."

"Look around us," Magnus gives the place a quick once over. "How many options can it really offer?"

"Here you go," the barman returns with only a cup for the warlock. He grins as his customer takes it. "Let me know when you've had too much."

Magnus downs it faster than the last drink, dabbing at his face with the cloth napkin from his coat pocket. "That one wasn't too bad, actually. What are you planning on giving me as a follow up?"

"Before you get too drunk," the barman says, glancing over to Alec. "How you two planning on paying?"

"Ah," Magnus pulls out a blank credit card. "Charge everything to this. Even intoxicated, my scrawl will work. Now," he rests his head on interlaced fingers. "What about that drink?"

The man looks the card over then shrugs. "How 'bout a vodka and gin chaser?"

Magnus nods and the man goes back to his station to make the drink.

"Magnus," Alec hisses as he takes the other man's hand. "I don't think this is a good idea. What will happen when you get drunk? Will your eyes-" he stops, looking around to make sure no one was trying to listen in. No one's obviously staring, but he still lowers his voice to finish, "De-Glamour, or whatever?"

"Relax," Magnus smiles, stroking the archer's knuckles. "I've never heard of any of our kind getting intoxicated before."

"You sure?" the archer asks, worry jumping another peg as the new drink is delivered. "You don't have to be the first one to do it."

Magnus takes the vodka, then immediately follows it with the chaser. He makes a noise of appreciation, "Not terrible, but still not as good as the whisky."

"I've got something to wipe that over-confident look on your face," their server adds with a bit of excitement. "It's from my personal collection."

"Thank you," the warlock smiles to the man as he goes to get it. He turns to his date, "He seems like a lovely man."

"Lovely man?" Alec repeats in shock. "Magnus what-"

"Bourbon!" the barkeep announces as he plants the bottle on the counter with an audible noise. "My best mate took one glass and toppled over."

"What a weak constitution he must have had," Magnus shrugs as the man pours a generous amount in a new glass. "Feel free to charge me for a whole, new bottle for sharing your story."

The barman actually takes a drink with the warlock that time. The two man plonk their cups to the bar top with a satisfied hiss.

"Smooth, right to the last drop," Magnus compliments as he looks his glass over. "Any chance I can just have more of that? I'm not interested in tainting this taste with other liquid shortcomings."

"Sure!" their server pushes the bottle closer to the warlock. He points to Alec as Magnus puts the bottle to his lips. "No more for you, kid. You're his designated driver."

"Yes, sir," Alec nods on instinct, watching his boyfriend down the alcohol like it's the first thing he's had in years. 

Once the barman walks away, Alec puts a hand on his date's arm, "I think you proved your point, Magnus. You can hold you liquor."

Magnus pulls down the bottle for a moment to smile at the archer, "It's not a problem, Alexander, really."

The warlock's eyes are only half open and he's swaying slightly in his seat.

"No, I think this is a problem," Alec says firmly as the other man takes another swig. "Magnus, you're drunk."

"Not possible," the warlock shakes his head as he takes another swig. He frowns as he puts the bottle back down. "Like most things, it's gone too soon."

"What?" Alec takes the bottle to check and, sure enough, it's empty. "How on earth did you drink a whole bottle already?"

"Magic!" Magnus says a little too loudly, then giggles. "Oops."

"Warlock's don't get drunk," the archer grumbles as he stands. "Right. Come on, you. Let's get you home."

"Home," Magnus purrs. Then he turns into a cat.

Alec's fear spikes hard and fast in his chest, turning his blood to ice as he looks around to see if anyone noticed. There are only four other patrons at the bar and one of them has the barman in a huddled conversation. The archer forces out a breath as he looks down to his animalized date.

He crouches down slightly as he hisses at the animal, "Magnus?"

The cat turns back into a human. Magnus tilts his head happily to his boyfriend. "Yes, my gorgeous flower?"

Alec curses as his cheeks heat up and they get a glare from one of the other customers, "We've got to go now. Can you walk?"

"I am purr-fectly capable," a tail wraps around the warlock's middle as his eyes change.

"Can you do it 'normally'?" Alec stresses the word quietly as he watches the others out of the corner of his eye. "You're 'not' a cat."

"What a silly boy," Magnus pats the archer's cheek, it's furrier than it should be. Alec immediately pulls it down below the bar. 

'I've got to get him out of here!' Alec swallows his fear as he starts to pull the man to his feet.

"Don't strain yourself," his boyfriend chuckles. "I can change-"

"No!" Alec hisses, but his words are unheeded as the man turns into a feline completely.

'Just get out. Just get out. Just get out. Just get out.' Alec keep repeating the words as he carries the cat under his jacket to the front door.

"Hey!"

Alec freezes, hand on the knob and heart beating almost too loudly to hear the shouted word.

"Someone's gotta sign this bill!" the barman's voice points out. Alec nods, trying to think of how he CAN do that. Magnus was a cat!

"I've got it!" human Magnus says, stepping out of Alec's jacket. "One which dotted line, my good man? There are three."

"Here," the barman moves the warlock's hand to the right spot. "Just make a mark."

"Of course," Magnus moves his hand in a controlled gesture, making a perfect signature even remarkably drunk. "Been practicing that for a few hundred years."

"Sure ya have," the older man rolls his eyes as he takes the paper back. He looks away, Magnus changes back into a cat, he looks back with the card and frowns as the other patrons stare in shock at the animal in the building now. "What?" the barman looks up to Alec, "Where'd your friend go?"

"Out!" Alec answers, taking the card with a forced smile. Cat Magnus jumps up, almost misses his shoulder, and the archer catches him in his arms.

"No pets," the barman orders with a growl at the animal. "Get outta my place!"

The cat hisses back and Alec turns tail and leaves. As the door closes behind him, he thinks he hears a "How drunk am I?" from one of the other customers.

 

Alec carries Cat Magnus down a few streets before the warlock changes back to a man.

"Why are you changing?" the archer growls angrily as he starts pulling a hand closer to home. "Do you have any idea what you did? Those people SAW you change!"

"What people?" Magnus pouts, dragging his feet on purpose. "I only saw you, me, and our server."

"There were four other customers, Magnus!" Alec turns to the man. "They saw you change! I thought you said you had to keep your powers a secret!"

"If we're talking about secrets, why are you shouting?" the warlock's brow furrows. "Why are you so hot? It shouldn't be possible to be so hot."

Alec looks around to make sure his outburst wasn't overheard. The streets are eerily devoid of people. He pulls his cell out to check the time and sighs tiredly at the time.

"What?" Magnus's face gets in the way of the screen. "Looking at old boyfriend pics? Not nice. I wanna see."

"Magnus," his boyfriend warns as he puts the device away. "I was checking the time. It's nearly 2 AM. I've got to get us home and sleep."

"Take the day off-"

"I have to go back to work," Alec interrupts him as he starts pulling him back homeward. "It's Jace's last lesson with me. I want to give him a proper send off."

A low, warning noise is the only warning the archer gets before he has a shoulder full of unhappy cat.

"Don't get jealous," Alec can't help but chuckle a little as he pulls soft paws away from his eyes. "I didn't mean it in a weird way. I just meant that I want to be the one to give him his last lesson. It's a teacher thing. Not am ex-crush thing."

Magnus makes an odd noise, but stops trying to block Alec's sight so that the man can finish walking down the street.

 

Around the corner, a woman is walking her three pit bulls. They dogs take one look at Magnus and start barking viciously. The woman screams as she tries to hold onto them, but they easily rip their leases from her grip and start after the feline.

Alec runs for it.

Down the wrong street and almost in the opposite direction, Alec sees a gate he can climb over. He leaps, fingers latching onto the metal as his feet desperately try to gain purchase as the canines come dashing at them, barking their heads off.

Magnus leaps off of Alec's shoulders and the archer calls to him in fear, "No!"

The human appears, eyes glowing at the dogs, and sending them whimpering in the other direction.

Alec drops down the ground as the animals flee. He rubs his hands together as he glances at his boyfriend. The warlock's eyes are still glowing.

"Better hide those," the archer comments as he looks around. "No telling who's watching from the shadows."

Magnus's face turns strange before his eyes turn 'normal'. He offers his lover a hand, "Shall we?"

"Let's find a bus," Alec suggests, knowing the way to the closest stop.

 

Cat Magnus rides the bus on Alec's lap the whole way home.

 

Human Magnus walks up the steps with his boyfriend, determined to hold his hand as they do so.

Back in the security of their home, Alec closes the door behind them with a heavy sigh. He lets go of Magnus's hand, sets his alarm, plugs in his phone, and falls into bed with the hope it will swallow him.

Cat Magnus curls next to him with a content purr.

They both pass out.

\----

**Author's Note:**

> I am legally inclined to state I own nothing.


End file.
